Day 3: When Life Becomes Unmanageable
How my Instagram Addiction has paralleled my Alcohol Addiction, and The Lessons on the Third Day of Letting Go
When I got sober from alcohol, one of the main reasons I chose sobriety was because my life had become unmanageable. Emotional triggers would overwhelm me, and I’d react impulsively. I remember one moment at work vividly: my team leader suggested redistributing my classroom furniture among the other Grade 1 teachers, as mine was the nicest. While I thought the suggestion was unfair, what really spiraled me out of control was her stating I had volunteered for it in a team meeting. I snapped, loudly protesting in front of everyone, that if she had asked me to volunteer, I’d have said no. Looking back, the argument was so silly I can’t even remember if I kept the furniture or not in the end. But at the time, small issues felt monumental.
A month later, I found myself crying in my principal's office, overwhelmed by credit card debt and convinced my salary as a teacher wasn’t enough, and that was the problem (whilst in reality the problem was mostly that I was maxing out my cards on travel and fancy hotel brunches every weekend). I was a functioning professional on the outside, but internally I was a mess. I was neglecting basic self-care, falling asleep on the classroom carpet during recess, and even accidentally lighting my hair on fire while trying to multitask in the bath. My life didn’t feel so out of control that I lost my job or destroyed relationships, but it certainly felt like it would head in that direction one day if I didn’t make a change. I felt out of control in every sense.
This chaos is a hallmark of addiction, as reflected in the first step of the 12 Steps: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol —that our lives had become unmanageable.” This moment of admitting this powerlessness and surrendering to it is the beginning of transformation. It mirrors the yogic principle of ishvarapranidhana (surrender to a higher power) and the Buddha's teaching on letting go of control. Only when we recognize unmanageability can we begin to rebuild.
Instagram and the Illusion of Control
Fast forward to today, and while I haven’t reached such a low point with Instagram, I’ve noticed parallels between my addiction to alcohol and my relationship with social media. After leaving my stable teaching job to run The Mindful Life Practice full-time, my income depended entirely on my business. I felt an intense pressure to constantly promote myself on Instagram. This created an unhealthy cycle where I became obsessed with likes, comments, and followers—thinking these metrics defined my success.
Over time, this obsession bled into other areas of my life. My home was often disorganized. I stopped cooking and cleaning regularly. I found myself pouring money into Instagram—ads, social media managers, podcast reels, influencer collaborations—yet feeling perpetually behind on business tasks that truly mattered.
Just as in Step 4 of the 12 Steps, which involves taking a fearless moral inventory, I had to take stock of my behaviours. I realized I wasn’t living in alignment with my values. I was neglecting my personal relationships, my creative passions, and even my health. Like Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, standing on the battlefield, I needed clarity to see what was truly important and to make choices that honored my dharma (life purpose).
Recognizing the Signs of Addiction
When I reflect on my relationship with Instagram, I see clear signs of addiction. According to psychologists, addiction manifests in physical, behavioural, and emotional patterns. Here’s how it showed up for me:
1. Tolerance Development
Over time, I needed to spend more hours on Instagram to achieve the same sense of validation.
2. Neglecting Responsibilities
Important business tasks like replying to emails, managing logistics, and paying bills were left undone while I scrolled endlessly.
3. Loss of Interest in Hobbies
I stopped reading books, journaling, and even watching movies without checking my phone.
4. Isolation
I downplayed my Instagram usage to friends and students, even as I constantly refreshed my story views.
5. Risky Behaviour
I engaged in risky behaviours, like checking my phone while driving.
6. Obsessive Focus
Instagram consumed my thoughts. I was thinking, planning, and living my life through the lens of content creation.
The Yoga Sutras describe addiction as a manifestation of the kleshas—mental afflictions like attachment (raga) and ego (asmita). These obstacles prevent us from experiencing clarity and freedom. As Patanjali teaches, abhyasa (consistent practice) and vairagya (detachment) are essential to overcoming them.
Detoxing from Instagram: A Journey Back to Balance
Stepping away from Instagram this January was daunting, but necessary. I am now on day three of a detox, and similarly to my detox from alcohol, I hope I never use it again. Much like the early days of sobriety, on day one and two, I initially felt overwhelmed by the chaos I’d left unchecked. My email inbox was overflowing and bills were unpaid. There’s a number of expensive fees I’ve invested in as a business owner which just feel unnecessary which I needed to reevaluate.
On the first two days of my detox, I focused on simple self-care: cleaning my house, cooking meals, and leading social media detox meetings. By the evening of Day 2, I was able to tackle my email inbox, reducing it to zero for the first time in months. This newfound mental clarity allowed me to reconnect with my work, my clients, and myself in a meaningful way.
The Spiritual Lessons of Letting Go
One profound moment so far during the detox came while teaching a private yoga class yesterday. Without the veil of social media addiction, I feel more attuned to my students (and everyone I am in the presence of). A relatively new mother of two began to cry at the very end of the class, after savasana, releasing emotions she’d been holding for years. I placed my hand on my heart and said, “You’ve done so much. You’ve been through so much. I’m so happy you’re here, taking time for yourself.” While I can feel and connect with others emotions regularly, this moment felt like a deeper level of understanding than before. It felt like I was truly with her in this moment, and it really felt powerful for us both. I can’t describe it.
This interaction reminded me that true service doesn’t come from crafting the perfect Instagram post. It comes from being fully present with others. As Patanjali teaches in Sutra III.23:
"By performing samyama (focused meditation) on friendliness, compassion, and similar qualities, one attains their strengths."
Empathy and connection are some of the greatest siddhis (spiritual powers) we can cultivate. But addiction blocks these powers by keeping us trapped in self-centered patterns.
Reclaiming My Dharma
Detoxing from Instagram has been a wake-up call. It’s shown me that my dharma isn’t tied to likes or followers—it’s tied to presence, authenticity, and service. The Bhagavad Gita teaches we must act without attachment to the fruits of our labor. This detachment allows us to work from a place of love, not fear or ego.
By surrendering my need for control (vairagya), taking inventory of my actions (Step 4), and committing to a higher purpose, I’ve begun to reclaim balance in my life. My yoga practice feels deeper, my relationships more meaningful, and my sense of self clearer than it’s been in years.
As the Buddha taught, “You only lose what you cling to.” Letting go of Instagram isn’t just about breaking an addiction; it’s about creating space for what truly matters.
Join Us
Want to join our Social Media detox? We have about eighty people joining us so far. You can sign up for the challenge here. You get: free daily emails, a free WhatsApp group and free daily Zoom meetings as part of the program. Initially, I was thinking of eventually making this a paid program, but I honestly think I will most likely always keep it free - because the world is in such need of this detox, and I truly feel it is of service to others to offer it. So please sign up and join us. We’d love to have you.
What’s your Relationship like with Social Media?
Comment on this post and let me know.