Day 98: From Suffering to Presence: A New Beginning in the Sutra Sangha
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TW SA
The sexual assault I experienced earlier this year cracked my heart open in a way I never could have imagined. It pulled me into a deeper commitment to spiritual practice. It called me to live my yoga - not just study it.
I'm about ten weeks into my recovery now, and most days feel beautiful.
I teach and practice and live on Bali.
But healing isn't linear.
Yesterday, during my afternoon meditation, a memory surfaced - the thought that photos or videos of my assault might be out there on the internet.
I wept.
Afterwards, I went for a sunset walk and spoke to Mr. Z 😎 (Mr. Z, Mr Shakshuka, Raja Haiku, Mr. Mimpi Indah, Habibi (My Love in Arabic), The Approaching-Boyfriend (Boyfriend in Waiting), Mr. Vritti, Mr. Jack Pot, Mr. Meditation, Rocket Man, Mr. Mantra, The Meow-ditator, The Rational Mystic, Burrito Boy, the-guy-i-like-that-i-feel-safe-with, him (the crush)) about it.
And today, I arrived back in the present.
When suffering arises, I name it.
I recognize it through the lens of yoga:
Patanjali called some of these thought waves smṛti (memory) or vikalpa (imagination).
I teach my students that the labels aren’t the point.
The point is simple but life-changing:
It’s a thought.
A vṛtti. A fluctuation of the mind.
And the only vṛtti that is considered truth in yoga is pramāṇa - right knowledge.
Right knowledge of this moment, right now.
When I catch myself wrapped in anything other than pramāṇa, I know I’m not fully present.
I’m in the trauma vortex.
And so I pull out my spiritual toolkit - my studies of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras - to guide myself gently back.
🌸 May Theme in the Sutra Sangha: The Vṛtti Series
This year the Vṛtti-s have been the passion of my work - which is why I’ve chosen them as a focus for the May theme in the Sutra Sangha.
We will explore the landscape of thought together.
Here’s what’s happening this month inside Sutra Sangha:
🧘🏽♀️ May 4 at 9:00am EST | 9:00pm WITA: — Stilling the Fluctuations
Slow vinyasa + pranayama + yoga nidra to soothe the nervous system and quiet the mind.
🧠 May 10 at 8:00pm EST | May 11 at 8:00am WITA — Meditation Circle: The Five Vṛtti-s
Meditation practice to interrupt thought spirals + discussion on the five types of mental activity and how they show up in trauma and recovery.
🧘♀️ May 14 at 7:30am EST | May 14 at 7:30pm WITA — Asana + Meditation: Observing the Vṛtti-s
Mindful movement and mantra practice focused on developing your witness consciousness.
🌿 May 25 at 8:00am WITA | May 24 at 8:00pm EST — Discussion Circle: Disidentifying from the Mind
An exploration of Yoga Sutra 1.3: resting in our true nature when the vṛtti-s are stilled.
✨ All sessions are recorded. If you can't make it live, you’ll still get the full experience.
✨ Why Join the Sutra Sangha?
Healing isn’t just about identifying what’s wrong.
It’s about learning to sit with yourself in silence and say:
“I am not my thoughts.”
If you’ve been enjoying my free Seva Writing here on Substack, know that the Sutra Sangha is where we go deeper.
It’s where real transformation happens.
It’s a living, breathing spiritual community built around ancient wisdom, modern healing, and the journey back to the Self.
This is for you if you’re craving:
🌿 Regular live gatherings and discussions
🌿 A monthly study focus rooted in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras
🌿 Ongoing community support in a Private WhatsApp Group
🌿 Embodied spiritual practices that integrate mind, body, and spirit
🌿 A space to heal, reflect, and grow at your own pace
🌿 Ready to Join Us?
The Sutra Sangha is $75 USD / month, or $750 USD / year (two months free!)
Cancel anytime. Rejoin when you're ready. No pressure - just support, study, and soul.
👉 [Upgrade your membership and join the Sutra Sangha here]
Let May be the month you learn to lovingly witness your mind—
Not to judge it.
But to remember who you really are.
I hope to see you inside. 🌿
With love and light,
Alexandra
Sober Yoga Girl