Day 94: Yoga Sutra 1.41 - Manifesting Romance
How the Yoga Sutras, the Placemat Process & Conscious Clarity Work Together to Manifest Partnership
Welcome to the newly named Sober Yoga Girl Substack (formerly The Daily Dharma)! Whether you’re a longtime reader or new to this space, I’m so happy you’re here.
I can’t believe we’re already coming to the end of April. It’s been a full month—settling back into life in Bali, teaching all my online courses, guiding two beautiful retreats (with the Sobah Sistahs and Jane Ballard’s group!), and graduating another inspiring group of 200-Hour Yoga Teachers from Sky Yoga & Meditation.
In about a week, I head to Toronto for my niece Frankie’s third birthday, followed by teaching at Sober in the City Arizona (come join us—spots still open!). Then it’s back to Bali for our Alcohol-Free Yoga & Meditation Retreat with Rory Kinsella—yes, there are still places available!
Amid all this movement, I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to become the person who attracts the love you’re looking for. A few weeks ago, I wrote about Mr. Shakshuka—how someone called him my Jackpot, and how I started calling him Mr. Jackpot. I wrote about how I wanted to be a Jackpot too (because what makes him a Jackpot to me is what an elevated way in which he takes care of himself). He said to me after reading it, that I am a Jackpot too (and started calling me a Jackie.) It was funny and sweet, but there is definitely a truth to my desire to evolve before he comes to Bali.
(Before I go on, here’s his growing nickname list, mostly for entertainment purposes: Raja Haiku, Mr. Mimpi Indah, Habibi (My Love in Arabic), The Approaching-Boyfriend (Boyfriend in Waiting), Mr. Vritti, Mr. Jack Pot, Mr. Meditation, Rocket Man, Mr. Mantr, The Meow-ditator, The Rational Mystic, Burrito Boy, the-guy-i-like-that-i-feel-safe-with, him (the crush).)
Because the truth is, I used to hold a deep belief that love would fix things. That a partner would come in and help me sort out my finances, organize my life, clean my home, or support my routines. But I’ve come to realize: that’s my work to do.
This week, I told Sarah (one of the Mindful Life Practice teachers) about how I’m cleaning up my home, returning to my healthy routines, and getting back into my best self before Mr. Shakshuka comes to Bali. She said, “You know, you talked about this exact thing in a yoga class I did on your YouTube that you taught back in 2022!”
And then I remembered: the Placemat Process.
It’s a manifestation tool I first learned in a coaching session a few years ago that came from Abraham Hicks. The concept is simple but powerful—it helps us sort what is ours to do from what we must surrender to the Universe.
✨ The Placemat Process
On a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. Label one side:
"What I Will Do Today"
And the other: "What the Universe Will Handle"
From there, get into a high-vibe state. Meditate, walk, light incense. When you feel connected, start writing.
Here’s what I wrote in 2022:
🌿 What I Will Do Today
Journal: What does love feel like to me?
Practice yoga & meditate
Affirm: "I am already whole and ready to receive aligned love."
Clear a drawer or declutter a space to make room for someone new
Smile at strangers, allow love to move through me
Reflect on one relationship pattern I am ready to release
🌌 What the Universe Will Handle
Bring the right partner at the right time
Prepare their heart and path
Release any patterns or blocks in me I can’t see yet
Create divine timing, synchronicities, and right-place-right-time magic
Reveal my next step and support me as I step into it
At the bottom, I wrote: "Thank you, Universe. I surrender the how, and align with the now."
And here I am 3 years later. With Mr. Shakshuka.
🪷 The Yogic Lens on Manifestation
In Yoga Sutra 1.41, Patanjali describes the exact energy we cultivate through the Placemat Process:
"kṣīṇa-vṛtter abhijāta-syēva maṇer grahītṛ-grahaṇa-grahyeṣu tat-stha-tad-añjanatā samāpattiḥ"
"When the mind's fluctuations are weakened, it becomes like a transparent crystal, taking the form of whatever it rests upon—whether the knower, the act of knowing, or the object known. This is samāpatti, or total absorption."
This Sutra teaches us that:
Our minds are powerful manifestor-crystals. When calm, clear, and centered, they absorb and reflect the very energy we place our focus on.
Like attracts like. A calm mind attracts calm energy. A joyful mind invites joyful experience. A clear and devoted mind invites clear and devoted love.
When we reduce the vrittis—the spinning, noisy, cluttered thoughts—and come into a still state, our outer world begins to mirror our inner clarity. This is not about obsession or control—it’s about clarity, presence, and surrender.
So, if you’re calling in a partner, take heart: you don’t need to find them, you need to become the version of yourself who is ready to receive them. And trust that they, too, are becoming ready to receive you.
I now believe that a lot of what happened to me this year was lining up synchronicities for me to realize how special Mr. Shakshuka is - and also to pave the way for me to become that special myself (Instagram Detox & everything I’ve learned from the S.A. recovery).
I am still becoming. And I see that the clearer I get, the more life flows. The more I align with clarity and joy, the more those qualities show up around me.
What are you absorbing today? What vibration are you cultivating?
Let your mind be the crystal. And let the world reflect it back to you.
🔔 Final Call: Early Bird Discounts Ending!
The Early Bird discounts for both the 200-Hour and 300-Hour Yoga Teacher Trainings in Bali are ending May 1st.
200-Hour YTT (July 7–27): Learn Vinyasa, Yin, and philosophy in a powerful immersion that will change your life
300-Hour Advanced YTT (Sept): Deepen your expertise in mental health, pranayama, meditation, adjustments, and yoga philosophy
Save $200 when you book before the deadline!
🕉 Sutra Sangha & Sober Yoga Girl Membership
There are now three tiers to connect with my teachings:
Seva Writing (Free) – My weekly offerings in service of the community
Sādhanā Circle (Paid) – Access to exclusive written content
Sutra Sangha (Community) – Weekly live calls where we chat about the Yoga Sutras together or I teach yoga classes on the theme of the sutras of the month - and apply them to recovery, mental health, and personal growth
In May, we’re diving deep into the vṛttis—the thought patterns that shape our reality. Come join us!
🌴 Upcoming Retreats & Trainings
Here’s what’s coming up:
May 25–31: Alcohol-Free Yoga & Meditation Retreat in Bali with Rory Kinsella — a week of connection, clarity, and calm
July 7–27: 200-Hour Yoga Teacher Training in Bali — become certified and empowered to lead
Sept 1–10: Pranayama & Meditation for Mental Health YTT Module — explore subtle body, breath, and mind
Sept 11–18: Asana Adjustments & Assists Module — refine your teaching and physical guidance
Feb 22–Mar 5, 2026: Sober Women’s India Retreat — a transformative journey through Delhi, Agra, Jaipur & Goa
Alex, how do I sign up for the third tier?