Day 82: The Dharma in Daily Life
Each evening, it is my bedtime routine to sit down and write the Daily Dharma. When I first started this practice, I would write at any time in the day. But now, so much happens in a day that I feel like it needs to be a bedtime practice to fit it all in!
When I sit down to write these reflections, I often don’t know where to begin. Not because nothing has happened - but because everything has. Each day holds multitudes.
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I’m continually amazed by how much I can live through in just 24 hours - especially without the gravitational pull of Instagram. Addiction, in any form, is a time thief. It consumes your energy, focus, and peace. It becomes a full-time job.
When I quit drinking in 2019, one of the first things I noticed was how much time I suddenly had. Time to build a business. To play guitar. To read. To create. Instagram, it turns out, was a similar kind of energy drain. The less I scroll, the more I live. My days become spacious, full of thinking, feeling, healing, and reflection. It’s magical.
Pagi (Morning in Bahasa Indonesia Language):
I slept in today - and was late to a meeting (sorry Susie and Peggi!). It was with the Sober in the City team, and we were finalizing details for our Arizona event in May (which is going to be amazing, by the way - come join us!).
I shared with them that maybe it’s a good thing I’ve been sleeping so much lately. My body is exhausted - and it makes sense. In the last six weeks, I experienced both a sexual assault and a physical assault, with weeks of sleepless nights. I traveled from Bali to Abu Dhabi (4-hour timezone shift), then around India (another 2.5-hour shift). My nervous system is finally coming down from that. Sleep is healing, not laziness. That’s a reframe I’m working on.
After the call, I went to a Bikram 26 + 2 class. The simplicity and structure feel comforting right now.
Siang (Afternoon in Bahasa!): Safety
Then I went to an ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families) meeting. We were working through the Loving Parent Workbook, and one of the affirmations was:
“A loving parent assures the inner child they are safe today. While situations might remind them of the past, they are not in the same situation today.”
Two moments came to mind:
One was in India, when I was anxious sharing a bed with someone, and my roommate said, gently, “You’re safe now.”
The other was with the Meow-ditator (also known as: the Rational Mystic, Burrito Boy, the-guy-i-like-that-i-feel-safe-with, and him (the crush). I shared with him a dream I’d had about a woman in danger. He gently said, “She’s safe now.” His insight - that the woman I had dreamed about was likely me - landed hard.
But both my roommate from India and the Meow-ditator did the same thing in these moments - it wasn’t denying my fear or telling me to stop being afraid - but just reminding me that in this moment, now, I am safe. It was so comforting. And I realized that this practice is something I can start to do for myself.
Appreciating “The Gift” aka our Dharma:
The workbook also shared this:
“A loving parent recognizes and appreciates strengths and qualities. Gives approval on a daily basis.”
I went off on a bit of a tangent in the meeting (as I do) but I thought of something that really resonated with me that I’d read in a book that I wanted to share. I’m reading The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope, which explores the Bhagavad Gita and the concept of dharma - our unique calling. Cope shares the story of Jane Goodall. At age four, she snuck into a henhouse to learn how hens lay eggs. She was missing for four hours. In the meantime, her parents organized a search party and the whole community was searching for her. But when she emerged from the henhouse, beaming with curiosity and wonder, her mother didn’t scold her, because she saw that this was clearly Jane’s gift. If she had the attention span to sit in a henhouse for four hours quietly at age four, this means something! She celebrated her daughter’s gift - and nurtured it. Eventually, she even accompanied Jane on her first trip to Africa to observe Chimpanzees in the wild.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what my gifts are - and how to nurture them in myself - and also what other people’s gifts are - and how to nurture them in them. For example, the Meow-ditator was saying to me the other day that he could hear my harmonium was out of tune, and that his sensitivity to tune was a curse. I said no, “that’s your gift!” I think many of us haven’t heard what our gifts are from people around us, and I want to set an intention to start to see and speak them in others.
Fight Club
I told the Meow-ditator about the meeting. He teased me: “You’re like Fight Club—going to every support group.” He’s not the first to say that.
But my view is: suffering is suffering. Addiction is addiction. Every group offers a different layer of healing. I’ve actually started watching Fight Club, just to get the reference that people keep making about me. In the film, the narrator suffers from insomnia and emotional emptiness. He starts crashing support groups to feel something - anything. It’s only in others’ raw vulnerability that he finds some release.
To me, that’s a relatable search for connection. From a yogic lens, it’s avidya - losing spiritual connection. I think it demonstrates how lonely and disconnected most people feel in the modern world, that they don’t have these safe spaces to show up and share, nonjudgmentally.
My Fellowships and the Layers of Healing
I like my different fellowships I go to! And I want to tell you what benefits I get from them:
AA (Alcoholics Anonymous): “Let’s deal with the drinking - and what it’s covering up.”
ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Famillies): “Let’s look at the family system that planted the seeds.”
CoDA (CoDependents Anonymous): “And here’s why your relationships feel like emotional rollercoasters.”
Each group speaks to a different layer of my healing. Each one helps me peel back the samskaras - those deep-seated patterns that pull us back to suffering, again and again.
The final piece is that I’m going to be setting up an ITAA group (Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous) because I do feel like that one is missing in Bali!
Evening (Malam - Evening in Bahasa Indonesian Language): Yoga Sutra Study
Tonight, I led one of my Yoga Sutra Study groups as they wrapped up their final chapter - Kaivalya Pada, the Chapter on Liberation.
Sutras 4.27 to 4.34 are about what happens in the final stages of spiritual liberation:
Even near the end, old thoughts arise (4.27)
Even spiritual attachments must be released (4.28)
True liberation comes when you’re no longer even interested in liberation (4.29)
All karma and suffering dissolve (4.30)
The mind becomes infinitely clear (4.31)
Nature’s role ends (4.32)
Time itself is understood and transcended (4.33)
And finally, absolute freedom: Kaivalya (4.34)
We talked about how healing isn’t linear. Even as we get closer to inner peace, old patterns return. I noticed it in myself this week: the craving for Instagram validation. But I traced the samskara back - to loneliness. So I reached out. I showed up in person. I chose connection over craving.
Dharma and the Call to Write
As I close this reflection, I come back to where I started: not knowing what to write, because so much has happened, and I have so many insights in a day.
Stephen Cope writes:
“Dharma callings are more fluid than we would like them to be... Just when we settle into a satisfying moment of dharma flowering, the world upends us.”
Right now, writing The Daily Dharma feels like my dharma, my purpose. It feels more meaningful than curating an Instagram reel and obsessively refreshing views. Even if not everyone reads every essay, I trust the right ones will be opened by the people who need to read them… at exactly the right time. And I love when you comment on my writing that it’s helped you - it means a lot!
I opened up my Yoga Sutra Study course manual tonight - a document I’ve been working on for five years. 250+ pages of teachings, reflections, and notes. That’s a dharma project. Just like my first book, Sober Yoga Girl, was a dharma project. I wrote myself out of addiction. I wrote myself into service.
Cope writes:
“You’ll hear the faint call of the book’s dharma at first. And then you will have to practice listening very, very hard…”
As I wrapped up tonight, I thought: I think 2025 is the year I take the course manual on the Yoga Sutras and turn it into a book. The one I’ve already been writing for half a decade. This (and healing through it) feels like the dharma of my life right now.
Ways to Study with Me:
🌴 May 25–31 Sober Yoga & Meditation Retreat in Bali – a few rooms left!
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🧘🏽♀️ September 2025 300-Hour Yoga Teacher Training in Bali
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📖 Yoga Sutra Study Online – we had our first classes this week but would still love for you to join!
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📖 Yoga Teacher Training Online 200 Hours – a new cohort starts this week! Last call - we start today!
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