Day 77: Back to Sangha: The Antidote to a Washing Machine Brain
The last few days were probably the longest I’ve gone without being in sangha - spiritual community - in a very long time. I didn’t even notice it at first. But for me, 72 hours is a really long time to be disconnected from my people.
I had just come back from India, and I was completely exhausted. I canceled my weekend yoga classes in Uluwatu, curled up in bed, meditated, and tried to catch up on errands - vet visits for Princess, a hair consultation, and a few other random tasks.
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While my body definitely needed rest, I also realized something else: when I'm alone too long, my brain goes into what I call “washing machine mode.”
When I attended AA meetings briefly in January, I heard a lot of people use this phrase — “washing machine brain.” It perfectly describes the way thoughts swirl endlessly in early recovery. The brain feels like it’s stuck on spin cycle: loud, repetitive, chaotic, and hard to turn off.
What Is a Washing Machine Brain?
In AA, this metaphor points to the obsessive nature of the mind:
Constant looping thoughts about drinking, shame, fear, or regret.
A restless mental agitation that doesn't disappear just because we’ve stopped using.
The absence of inner peace — just spinning, spinning, spinning.
And while it’s talked about in the context of addiction, I actually think the washing machine brain is a normal human experience. Everyone has it at times. We all need tools and practices to bring us back to center - and for me, that always includes sangha.
Returning to Practice
Tonight, I got back online with my community, The Mindful Life Practice, for the first time in what felt like forever. I hosted our Advanced Yoga Sutra Study class followed by Sober Soul Sunday.
We started Chapter 2 of the Yoga Sutras with 11 minutes of chanting to open our minds to the Sanskrit. Then we explored the foundation of Kriya Yoga, which requires:
Svadhyaya (self-study)
Ishvara pranidhana (surrender to the Divine)
Tapas (discipline)
We also talked about the Kleshas — the five veils that cloud our perception:
Avidya – spiritual ignorance
Asmita – ego
Raga – attachment/desire
Dvesha – avoidance
Abhinivesha – fear of change or loss of what we know
Someone asked a beautiful, honest question: “What’s the point?”
It brought me back to my own experience — during the last few days of the retreat in India, my mind was caught in a spin about a new crush. It was Raga - desire. I was caught in imagining what could be, instead of being present with what was.
It’s fun to live in fantasy. But if I’d stayed there, I wouldn’t have been able to hold space for the retreat guests. I wouldn’t have been grounded enough to truly listen or lead. That’s why these teachings matter - because they help us name what's happening, and come back to presence.
Two Sutras That Ground Me
We explored two powerful sutras tonight:
Sutra 2.10 – Te pratiprasava heyah sukshmah
These subtle kleshas are overcome by returning to their source.
→ The subtle obstacles dissolve through meditation and reflection. We go to the root, and rest in the Self.
Prompt: Can you think of a recurring pattern that feels subtle but sticky? What’s beneath it when you sit with it?
Sutra 2.11 – Dhyana heyas tad-vrittayah
The fluctuations arising from these obstacles can be reduced through meditation.
→ Meditation helps calm the mind and weaken the kleshas. Through regular practice, we can soften the patterns that cause suffering.
Prompt: How does your meditation practice support you in seeing through old patterns? What shifts when you take time to sit?
For me, Sutra 2.10 is what happens when I gather in sangha and write these Substack essays. I reflect, process, and name what’s spinning in my brain.
Sutra 2.11 is the practice - the meditation that follows. That’s when my brain stops spinning and settles into stillness.
The Power of Sangha
We closed the evening with the Sober Soul Circle, a weekly gathering I’ve hosted for years. The theme tonight was sangha — community — and the essential role it plays in our healing.
Here are the journal prompts we explored together:
🌀 Sangha Journal Prompts
Who are the people that make up your sangha — your spiritual community — right now?
Write about the individuals, groups, or spaces where you feel safe, supported, and seen on your healing or spiritual path.When have you felt most connected to others in your practice or recovery journey?
Describe a moment where community brought you comfort, inspiration, or strength.What holds you back from fully receiving support or showing up in community?
Reflect honestly on any fears, stories, or patterns that may make it difficult to trust, connect, or be vulnerable.How do you want to show up for your sangha?
What kind of energy, presence, or commitment do you feel called to offer to the people who walk this path with you?
Coming Home
After these few days alone, it was such a relief to come back to community. To reflect, chant, study, and share space with others who are also on the path.
The washing machine brain still spins sometimes - but sangha reminds me: I don’t have to do it alone.
Ways to Study with Me:
🌴 May 25–31 Sober Yoga & Meditation Retreat in Bali – a few rooms left!
👉 Book Your Spot
🧘🏽♀️ July 2025 200-Hour Yoga Teacher Training in Bali
👉 Join Us Here
🧘🏽♀️ September 2025 300-Hour Yoga Teacher Training in Bali
👉 Join Us Here
📖 Yoga Sutra Study Online – a new cohort starts this week!
👉 Sign Up
📖 Yoga Teacher Training Online 200 Hours – a new cohort starts this week!
👉 Sign Up
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