Day 21: Why I Don't Call Myself an "Alcoholic"
Beyond Labels: Yoga, Sobriety, and the Universal Struggle of Being Human
This morning, I taught the very first class of a new cohort of my Yoga Sutra Study. Teaching this course is my absolute favourite thing to do on this earth. I know I could offer it on demand since I’ve taught it live eight times and definitely have all the video recordings to share. But the learning I gain from teaching this course live is invaluable to me.
Every conversation with a new group of students takes a unique direction based on who’s in the group and how I’m showing up that day. I love these conversations. (If you want to join the cohort, you’re not too late. You can still catch up from last week’s class.)
This week, we started with the first four Yoga Sutras:
1.1: Atha Yoga Anusasanam (Yoga begins now).
1.2: Yogas Citta Vritti Nirodhah (Yoga is the stilling of the fluctuations of the mind).
1.3: Tada Drastuh Svarupe Vasthanam (Then, we realize we are not our minds and can distinguish our thoughts from our true nature).
1.4: Vritti Sarupyam Itaratra (Without regular practice, we identify with our thoughts).
What these sutras essentially tell us, from nearly 2,000 years ago, is that it is human nature to suffer. Life is challenging. Our minds create narratives about reality, which are narrated to us by the five types of thoughts, sutras 1.5 - 1.11 (which I’ve discussed in a previous post). Seeking solutions for our pain, we turn to alcohol, drugs, social media, or other distractions. But yoga teaches us that our minds are not reality; they only offer a story about reality. By practicing regularly, we find stillness amidst mental chaos and remember that our true nature exists beyond our thoughts.
This foundational teaching reminds me of the Bhagavad Gita, where Krishna tells Arjuna that the mind is both a friend and an enemy. A disciplined mind leads to liberation, while an undisciplined mind keeps us trapped in suffering. Similarly, in Buddha Dharma, the teachings emphasize that suffering arises from attachment and aversion—a result of identifying with the mind's fluctuations. Both traditions align with the sutras in reminding us that freedom lies in detaching from these mental stories.
A central part of the AA meetings I’ve been attending is introducing myself as an alcoholic. For many, this practice is empowering. But for me, it feels limiting.
Initially, I just said, “I’m Alexandra.” Now, I say, “I’m Alexandra, and I’m in recovery.”
It’s not that I’m denying my inability to drink or the immense suffering I’ve experienced. It’s that I see my addiction as an extreme manifestation of something universal: the human tendency toward suffering. To me, calling myself an alcoholic feels like separating myself from others. But I believe that suffering is universal, and my addiction was just an extreme manifestation of an ordinary human tendency. I don’t think I’m different from anyone else.
When I was a young adult, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. For years, I carried that label as my identity. I thought, “They don’t understand me because I have bipolar, and they don’t.” This mindset isolated me and shrank my world.
Three years ago, I stopped taking bipolar medication and have been fine ever since. I now believe that my symptoms stemmed from complex PTSD and alcohol addiction. When I found recovery support for both, the healing began. I completely understand why the diagnosis is supportive for people, as it was for me for many years. But now, I have let mine go.
What I’ve realized is this: to be human is to suffer. Buddha’s first noble truth tells us this. But it’s through our suffering that we find our shared humanity. Labels like “alcoholic” or “bipolar” are tools. For me, I don’t want to be different than anyone else - I want to be the same.
A memory surfaced today of when I was teaching in Kuwait. During a team meeting, a colleague explained why children should use pens to write. At first, I dismissed the idea. But as she shared how pens improve motor skills and make writing feel special, I changed my mind.
Someone laughed and said, “Alex, you’re so easily persuaded.” Another colleague disagreed: “No, she’s open-minded. She can hold opinions and still change them.”
That’s what A Course in Miracles defines as a miracle: a miracle is a change in perspective.
I’ve experienced this kind of shift around AA and the Twelve Steps. A year ago, I questioned their value. Today, I respect them. Perhaps one day, I’ll also shift my perspective on the word “alcoholic.” For now, I’m content with where I stand, and I hope that everyone I share the space with can be at peace with that.
The Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, and Buddha Dharma remind us that our true nature lies beyond labels and mental chaos. Recovery, like yoga, is about stilling the mind and reconnecting with that deeper truth. Whether we find that stillness through AA, yoga, or another path, what matters is recognizing our shared humanity and remaining open to change.
Today, I’m Alexandra. I’m in recovery. And I am grateful for the journey.
I would love to hear your input. If you’re also sober, do you identify as alcoholic? Why or why not?
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Online Vedic Meditation Training with Rory
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Tuesday January 21st 6:30pm-8:00pm EST, Toronto Time (Wednesday January 22nd 7:30am-9:00am AWST, Bali Time)
Wednesday January 22nd 6:30pm-8:30pm EST, Toronto Time (Thursday January 23rd 7:30am-9:00am AWST, Bali Time)
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Tuesday January 28th 6:30pm-8:30pm EST, Toronto Time (Thursday January 23rd 7:30am-9:00am AWST, Bali Time)
During this class we will:
Unpack the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, a 2500-year-old text, in an accessible way
Learn and understand some foundations of yogic philosophy as described by Patanjali
Embark on a spiritual journey toward deeper understanding of yourself.
Start Date: JANUARY 20th/21st START DATE (ENDS SEPTEMBER 2025)
Mondays at 6:30pm EST (Bali Time - Tuesdays at 7:30am AWST)
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