Day 2: "Checking Your Likes is the New Smoking" - Craving, Suffering and Instagram Addiction
Do the benefits of social media outweigh the costs? Or do the costs outweigh the benefits?
Today is day two of my thirty day social media detox. I remember when I got sober from alcohol in 2019, something that was of immense benefit for me was listening to and reading Quit Lit books about alcohol. So last night I did a quick audible search and found a great list of books. I downloaded the first one that came up which is called Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. This morning after my meditation and yoga practice, as I cooked my breakfast, I was listening along.
In the first chapter, which I was listening to this morning, Cal recommends us to recognize the true cost of our social media usage. Buying a house might seem helpful, for example, but comes with ongoing stress and effort of house maintenance, and costs, etc. Newport writes that each time we add a new app or platform to our lives, we should equally scrutinize it for it’s full impact on us.
In the morning before my meditation practice, I also pulled out Mindfulness by Joseph Goldstein, and opened to a random page and read along. (By the way - I don’t normally read this much when I’m on Instagram and Facebook! This ability to read more is reflective of the time I am gaining since being sober from social media.) The reading I pulled out today was about the cessation of dukkha, suffering, and ways to abandon craving.
This morning, I thought a lot about when I got so addicted to social media. Like drinking alcohol, it didn’t start out as me craving it all the time and consuming it all the time. (I write about this slow increase of alcohol over time until it became a full blown addiction in my book, Sober Yoga Girl, which was published a few months ago!) I always had social media and used it with frequency and had some sober streaks, but I wasn’t posting all the time and engaging with it all the time before I got sober. But it was once I got sober from alcohol, that social media started to take over my life. At the beginning of my sobriety, it was massively important. I would spend hours refreshing the sober Facebook group of the program I was part of, reading people’s notes of inspiration and hope, and writing them myself. My consistent presence on Facebook in the early days is what got me and kept me sober and I am so grateful for that. This consistent presence of me being online is also what built my business, The Mindful Life Practice, to be what it is today. I now full time lead yoga retreats and trainings and live in Bali. I recognize that this wouldn’t be possible without Facebook and Instagram and I am tremendously grateful!
But at some point, the costs of social media started to outweigh the benefits of it. While I use it to communicate with my community about upcoming programs, retreats and trainings - it has also become a vortex for me. I will log on first thing in the morning to check it and I will continue to check it all day. While checking it, I will compare how full my retreats are with other people’s. I get jealous of people teaching full yoga classes with 30+ students. I feel bitter and offended when my clients have moved on from working with me.
I then have to coach myself out of these negative emotions, often with a meditative intervention, followed by journalling, coaching with one of my mentors, and reflecting. Creating one post about an upcoming event or program or training ends up taking over my entire day.
The reading that I read this morning in Mindfulness by Joseph Goldstein speaks about the third noble truth in Buddhism, which focuses on the cessation of dukkha (suffering). It teaches us that freedom from suffering is possible by letting go of craving and attachment.
When suffering ceases entirely, that is when we realize nirvana, the ultimate enlightenment, where the mind is free from craving, aversion and ignorance. THe Buddha says that suffering arises because of craving, attachment and ignorance, and when craving is uprooted, suffering dissolves. This is an inner freedom where the mind is no longer grasping or resisting. The cessation of suffering doesn’t necessarily mean the end of physical pain or external hardships. Instead, it refers to an inner transformation where we no longer react with craving or aversion to life’s experiences.
How do we achieve the Third Noble Truth and how does it relate to Instagram Addiction?
Letting Go of Craving
Instagram can feed a craving for likes, validation, and constant stimulation, but this craving only deepens the cycle of dissatisfaction. Through mindfulness, meditation, and wisdom (prajna), we can see that these desires are fleeting and don’t bring lasting happiness. How can we let go of craving when it comes to Instagram? I’m currently not using the app, but my reflections right now as I withdraw from it are: “What am I really seeking here? And is Instagram the answer?”
Insight into Impermanence
One of the traps of Instagram is its illusion of permanence—perfect photos, curated moments, and metrics that seem to define our worth. But everything on Instagram is impermanent (anicca). Posts are quickly scrolled past and forgotten. I find as the years have gone on, I’ve invested more and more financially into my business on Instagram - my social media manager, my podcast posts, etc. But it’s all this endless, ongoing hole where things are quickly scrolled past and forgotten. Recognizing this truth is helping me loosen the grip of attachment to Instagram, and freeing me from its power over my sense of self.Cultivating Equanimity
Social media thrives on extremes: excitement over a new follower, frustration over a lack of engagement, or envy of someone else’s life. Cultivating upekkha(equanimity) to me would mean approaching Instagram with calmness and balance—neither clinging to the highs nor resisting the lows. I am not sure if that is possible. I do believe I engage with it with a level of dettachment, yet I still find it somewhat defines my value and my reality.
Like all of these topics, the cessation of dukkha (suffering) in Buddhism aligns with Patanjali, the Gita and 12 Steps.
Having a mind free of craving is central to many spiritual traditions.
Bhagavad Gita
In the Bhagavad Gita, detachment and freedom from desires are emphasized as a path to liberation:
Chapter 2, Verse 47-49 (Karma Yoga):
Krishna advises Arjuna to act without attachment to the fruits of his actions:“You have the right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.”
This verse highlights the idea of doing one’s duty without craving outcomes.
Chapter 2, Verse 55 (Sthitaprajna or Steady Wisdom):
“When a person gives up all desires in the mind and remains content within the self, by the self, that person is said to be of steady wisdom.”
Here, Krishna emphasizes the importance of renouncing cravings to attain inner peace.
Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras
Patanjali’s teachings are deeply rooted in removing cravings and attachments as obstacles to self-realization:
Sutra 1.15 (Vairagya):
“Dispassion is the mastery over craving for objects seen or heard about.”
Vairagya (non-attachment) is described as essential for quieting the mind.
Sutra 2.7-2.8 (Kleshas: Attachments and Aversions):
Craving (raga) and aversion (dvesha) are identified as root causes of mental suffering. Patanjali teaches that these tendencies bind us and must be transcended through practice and discipline.
Sutra 2.28:
“By the practice of the eight limbs of yoga, the impurities are destroyed, and there dawns the light of wisdom, leading to discriminative discernment.”
The eight limbs guide practitioners toward freedom from cravings and attachments.
The 12 Steps of Recovery
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous also address craving by encouraging surrender and spiritual growth:
Step 1: Admitting Powerlessness
Recognizing that craving for alcohol (or other substances) is beyond one’s control and leads to suffering.
Step 3: Surrendering to a Higher Power
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
Surrendering to a higher power is a way of letting go of cravings and attachments.
Step 11: Seeking Through Prayer and Meditation
Developing a connection with a higher power helps reduce mental cravings and cultivates a sense of peace.
Connection Between the Four Philosophies
In the Buddha Dharma, we can understand how craving obscures the mind, and how in moments free from craving, we can recognize happiness and peace.
In the Gita, detachment from desires leads to liberation.
In the Yoga Sutras, craving is a klesha (affliction) that clouds the mind and hinders samadhi (absorption).
In the 12 Steps, surrendering cravings to a higher power is key to recovery and serenity.
What has your experience been like around craving and social media?
If you are in the social media detox group, I’d love to hear about it. And if not, get in here!
I’ll leave you with one quote from Newport’s book:
“The tycoons of social media have to stop pretending that they’re friendly nerd gods building a better world and admit they’re just tobacco farmers in T-shirts selling an addictive product to children. Because, let’s face it, checking your “likes” is the new smoking.”