#192 Four Ways My Brain Has Changed In Four Days Off Instagram
Resting with the Sutras started this morning on Zoom. It was so special to be with you all. if you haven’t signed up yet you can register here. (Here is some really sweet feedback from some of the students who attended in our private WhatsApp group - shared with their permission!)
I have a new pranayama and meditation teacher in India right now.
When I logged onto our session a couple days ago, she smiled and said,
“I have good news. But you won’t think it’s good news.”
Then she told me that PayPal had blocked my payment to her (could be up to six months!) because she had just created a new PayPal account.
She laughed gently and said, “It sounds like bad news. But it’s good news. Everything happens for a reason. God is always sending me in the direction I need to be. This inconvenience will lead me somewhere, I just don’t know where yet. ”
I offered to send her another payment via a different method. She said it was no problem, that she could wait (Paypal says up to six months!) I was so struck by her attitude towards all this.
But it was such a simple reminder for me:
All news is good news.
Every time I get off Instagram, it honestly feels like I’m in early sobriety again.
I remember my first real Instagram detox in 2023. I shared about it in a Sober Girls Club session and joked that I felt like someone in addiction recovery again - because suddenly I was:
Cleaning my house
Doing admin
Reaching out to people
Cooking for myself
Getting work done
All the things I “didn’t have time for” when I was scrolling.
It was exactly like when I got sober from alcohol and suddenly started caring for my life again.
Back then, it hadn’t clicked yet.
I felt like a person in recovery…
Because I was a person in recovery.
Just with a different substance.
I’m four days off Instagram right now.
And this time feels gentler than before.
Last year, when I first really quit, it felt intense. I was in meetings every day. I needed that level of support.
Now I go a few times a week. I dip into different fellowships in Ubud—AA, NA, ACA, CODA. We’re lucky to have so many.
NA especially has surprised me. I used to think I didn’t belong because I never did “hard drugs.” But the more I listen, the more I realize: addiction is addiction. It’s about the brain. It’s about obsession. It’s about escape.
And healing is healing.
Even though I’m unable to attend daily meetings, my life is still settling into a beautiful rhythm:
5:00–6:00am — Meditation
7:00–9:00am — Teaching (Mondays its Bali Bhakti, Tuesdays its the Gita, Wednesday it’s at Radiantly Alive, Thursday it’s Resting with the Sutras, Friday it’s free time!)
9:30–10:30am — Teaching at Mindful Bali
Then: kirtan, workouts, yoga, Pilates, Zoom calls, Bahasa classes, life.
The weekends are off.
Structure is medicine for me.
And science agrees.
When we reduce constant dopamine stimulation—like social media scrolling—the brain begins to rebalance. Our reward system becomes less hijacked. We start to feel motivation and meaning from simple things again.
That’s exactly what I’m experiencing.
1. All News Is Good News
When I’m not in active addiction - it’s easier for me to see that All News is Good News (and not get annoyed by people who tell me it’s so.)
Today, after my Mindful Bali yoga class, the WiFi went down at my house.
Both of my phones - my work phone and personal phone - have been out of data for months. (Yes, months.)
Partly because WiFi is everywhere.
Partly because I thought it was “protecting me” from internet addiction.
In reality, I was just lazy to go to the shop and refill it. Most of the time it was fine, but when I really needed it - it just made life harder.
I couldn’t message anyone. Couldn’t troubleshoot. Couldn’t problem-solve.
So I said again:
All news is good news.
My Higher Power wouldn’t put this on my path without purpose.
And somehow, I believed it.
When dopamine isn’t constantly spiking from notifications, likes, and endless content, the nervous system becomes more resilient. Small disruptions stop feeling like emergencies. The brain regains its capacity for trust.
I finally surrendered and went out.
I topped up my data.
And while I was there, I bought a tablet and stand for Mindful Bali (something I’d wanted to get for ages, so Dayu could check in the students for the yoga classes.
I stopped at the bank to handle months-old admin.
These were things I’d been avoiding forever.
So yes, all news is good news - even the wifi being down - and this was God doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
When dopamine is regulated, executive function returns. We can plan, organize, and follow through again.
2. A Longer Attention Span for Reading and Writing
Before I headed out to the shop to get my data refilled, I had no internet for a couple of hours. But I couldn’t get go out to get data, because I had a Bahasa Lesson at the villa and was waiting for my teacher to get there. So I went into my work area, stepped onto my walking pad, and walked for 30 minutes while reading my current book: Blackout Girl.
When I’m addicted to Instagram, I can’t read.
I can’t write.
Not because I don’t love it—because my brain is fragmented.
Social media trains the mind to expect novelty every few seconds. Each scroll releases a tiny hit of dopamine. Over time, the brain struggles to stay with anything slow, deep, or subtle.
Now, without that constant stimulation, my focus is coming back.
Instead of scrolling in spare moments, I read.
It feels like coming home to myself.
