#182 Endings & Beginnings: The Hindu Trimurti
Six Years of Building Community, Learning Limits and Letting Go to make Space for What's Next
Last night, I led my final Sunday Night (Sunday morning) membership meeting of The Mindful Life Practice online membership.
It feels surreal to write that sentence.
We started this membership six years ago, in March of 2020. Since then, there have been countless variations, iterations, set-ups, setbacks, and comebacks. The community has taken many forms, but at its heart, it has always been about connection, healing, and practice.
The membership was born during Covid.
In March 2020, I moved my entire yoga teaching schedule from in-person classes at a fitness studio in Abu Dhabi (which has since closed) to Zoom - almost overnight. Like so many people at that time, I was suddenly untethered from the structures I thought were stable.
You can read the full story in my book Sober Yoga Girl, but in many ways, it felt like the whole world conspired for me to launch my business.
I always thought I needed a gym or a studio behind me to give me credibility. But I found during covid that I could do it on my own.
Those first few months were explosive. People were at home and craving connection. Within the first week, about 70 people signed up. The class schedule grew rapidly. Within three weeks, I had guest teachers offering classes on the platform.
In March and April of 2020, the focus was mostly physical asana.
At the same time, I was teaching yoga for an online sober community based in London. I truly had no idea what I was doing. It was a free weekly class and about 30 people would show up. We’d chat informally about sobriety and then practice yoga. There was no official “circle.” It took place at noon Abu Dhabi time on Sundays (8am London time), with people joining from across the UK and the Middle East.
Inspired by this, in May 2020, I launched the first Sober Girls Yoga community, an online Sunday night meeting at 6:30pm Abu Dhabi time.
That meeting became the core offering of the community for many years. It evolved constantly: from the Sober Girls Yoga Challenge, to the Sober Curious YTT, to community speakers sharing their sober stories, to podcast interviews recorded live on the calls, and eventually to philosophy-themed gatherings.
But the truth is, the unlimited membership model didn’t work for me long-term.
In the early Abu Dhabi years, it took a massive amount of time and energy. I gave everything I had and kept trying to grow it. But it never really grew - new people joined, but people cycled out at the same time. The numbers stayed consistent and constant at a break-even value. My teaching job kept me afloat.
One of my earliest clients, who is now a one-on-one coaching client, recently said to me, “I often think about how you did all of that in 2020–2021. You had a full-time job, ran the community, wrote your book, recorded your podcast… everything. I don’t know how you did it.”
I told her the truth:
“I sacrificed alot.”
This was not because of my clients, this was because of me. I didn’t know how to create healthy boundaries. As a result I had no life beyond my business. I loved it, but when I look back at videos from that time, I can see the exhaustion in my face. I was completely depleted.
Sometimes I think I’m still untangling the impact of those years six years later.
When I moved to Bali in 2021, I resisted change. I wanted things to stay the same. I wanted to keep offering everything that I had been for the last year and a half online. But Bali is four hours ahead of Abu Dhabi, which meant my 6:30pm class became a 10:30pm class. That’s how I ended up teaching at 10pm, 11pm, sometimes even midnight, most days of the week (what?)
And then I’d wakeup again and I teach 6am classes to reach other time zones.
I recorded multiple podcast interviews each week during the day.
I spent hours every day crafting social media posts.
I networked relentlessly.
I sent thousands of DMs promoting my work.
And at the same time, retreats and trainings began to build as the world opened up.
Slowly, the community began to shift, and so did my capacity. I couldn’t manage it all. I was too tired. And I think that could be felt.
I knew I had to let it go, or at least, change it, but I couldn’t let it go.
Over the years, pieces of the membership naturally fell away. I reduced the evenings I was working because I wanted more rest. I moved the 10:30pm meeting to 8:30pm. In the last year or so I was no longer really teaching live physical zoom asana as part of the membership. Until only the Sunday meeting remained. I kept the meeting on the calendar at 8:30pm to reach Europe, but fewer and fewer Europeans attended. I shifted the meeting slightly earlier for me, making it more difficult for those in West Coast North America to join. Because the membership was unlimited, I felt constant guilt cancelling sessions for retreats or trainings, and I often paid substitutes I couldn’t truly afford.
At one point in this period, in 2023, I also developed an on demand app (one of the worst business decisions I’ve made in hindsight, lol). I thought I could transition to a completely on demand offering, but it really didn’t work. The heart of what I do is connection. Large corporations have normalized $20-per-month unlimited yoga, and small yoga teachers competing with that model simply doesn’t work. You can’t afford to pay for high quality production and yourself and meet the expectations of the students unless your numbers are huge. And I found that I was earning less and working more.
This autumn, after building my shala in Bali, I got excited about offering something new. I honestly don’t remember where I got the idea, but I began offering a once-weekly Bali Bhakti Flow on Monday mornings at 8:00am Bali time (Sunday evening in North America) separate from the membership. People paid for the class. For the first time in a long time it just really felt right. I had my video guy come out to film it. The production quality was great. We had more people sign up for this than members of the community. The timing supported my nervous system. I woke up excited to teach every Monday, excited to see everyone, and excited to connect.
Importantly, the payment structure was no longer unlimited. People paid for the class itself, which meant freedom, for them and for me. I have only ever had to reschedule the class once (because I went on my Vipassana) but I gave everyone advanced notice and rescheduled to the following week without guilt. I didn’t need a sub.
And as I headed into my Vipassana, about five weeks into running the Bali Bhakti classes, I knew it was time to officially close the membership after six years as I move into this new model. I made the decision the first week of December 2025.
Letting go is bittersweet.
Yesterday’s final call was small and intimate. One woman joined who had been there since May 2020, wearing one of the first pieces of merchandise we ever made which was personally shipped by me from Abu Dhabi to the Cayman Islands. I don’t even remember designing it and it probably lost me money (making things in Dubai is expensive plus shipping is expensive! lol).
We reminisced about the many versions of the community. At one point, I had over 25 yoga teachers working with me on Zoom. (25!! Can you believe it?) We mailed free “team” T-shirts around the world. I created thousands of sober milestone buttons (never sold one). We had a magazine. I had a podcast with 250 episodes.
I learned so much. I made many mistakes.
It feels a little bittersweet to close the membership…but as I simultaneously open up my yoga shala here in Bali… I know the timing is right.
In Hindu philosophy, the Trimurti represents three cosmic forces: Brahma, the creator, Vishnu, the preserver and Shiva, the transformer.
Looking back, I see The Mindful Life Practice through this lens.
2020 was Brahma, the birth. Creation out of chaos.
2021–2024 were Vishnu, sustaining, maintaining, holding it all together.
2025 is Shiva, the necessary ending that makes transformation possible.
Shiva is not destruction for its own sake. Shiva clears what no longer serves so something new can emerge.
With this ending, space opens.
Space for online offerings that are structured and restful for me.
Space to stop working nights and weekends after ten years.
Space to focus on Mindful Bali retreats and teacher trainings.
Space to live differently.
Letting go to make room for what’s next.
I am grateful for everyone who has walked this path with me, and with us, over the last six years. I really couldn’t have done it without you.
In yesterday’s meeting one person said that they weren’t sad because they have so many meetings on the calendar this week with the Mindful Life.
And she’s right - with the membership ending, it’s really not ending. It’s just transforming.
We have SO much coming up online this week. Here’s where you can join us.
🎉The 6th Annual New Years Eve Flow + “Word of the Year” 🎉 class will be on December 31st at 9:30am Bali Time (December 30th at 8:30pm New York). Save your spot here.
🧘🏼 HOW TO MEDITATE 3 DAY WORKSHOP 🧘🏼 January 1, 2, 3 6pm EST (7am Bali)
🌞 SOCIAL MEDIA SABBATICAL 🌞 Fridays at 8:15am Bali Time (Thursdays 7:15pm EST) Join here
🌼BHAVAGAD GITA STUDIES - Tuesdays at 7am Bali Time (6pm Mondays EST New York) Starts January 6
📿Bali Bhakti Flow Series 3 starts January 19.📿 Sign up here.
Structure brings freedom. For beginnings, endings, and everything between.
Here’s to the next chapter.