#132 Let My Heart Be a Haven
On Ego, Discrimination, and the Slow Unfolding of Yoga
This morning, I taught another Yoga Sutra Study group. I teach these groups almost daily, and every time I step into one, I remember just how much they teach me in return.
Today, there was only one student on the call - others were traveling (one en route to Bali!). This meant we had space to connect, reflect, and check in before diving into the text.
And as it often happens, the check-in mirrored the sutras we were about to study.
I shared with her that yesterday, I had a couple of moments where my ego almost got the better of me. Despite all the work I’ve done disentangling Purusha (soul) and Prakriti (material world), despite all the teachings, I still sometimes get caught. But I think this entanglement is part of what makes us human.
I told her about two ego (asmita) moments from yesterday - one conversation that rattled me, and another where I nearly dumped the whole story onto someone else. I said both these moments could have really triggered my ego - and old me would have been upset and offended by both these moments from yesterday. But new me wasn’t. And what supports me is meditating every single day. The fact that I even had a pause to reflect on whether I was offended or not, whether I was personalizing or not, showed me that I wasn’t meditating enough (twice daily became once daily when I layered in daily pilates and Muay Thai into my life!) Me and her both agreed that letting it go is not something you can consciously talk yourself into. It must be experienced through stillness. That’s why daily meditation should be a non-negotiable for yoga teachers and practitioners.
And then we opened the Sutras to start the lesson… and of course, the sutras of the day spoke directly to this conversation (they always do!)
Sutra 2.25
Tad-abhabat-samyoga-abhavo hanam taddrseh kaivalyam
Freedom arises from removing confusion.
When the false identification between the seer and the seen is removed, consciousness becomes liberated. Just like the reflection of the moon in a still lake, consciousness becomes visible when the agitation ceases. When we stop confusing our soul (Purusha) with the ever-changing waves of nature (Prakriti), suffering ends. That’s liberation.
Sutra 2.26
Viveka-Khyatir-aviplava hanopayah
The means to liberation is uninterrupted discriminative awareness.
Viveka Khyati - the special, clear seeing - allows us to distinguish between soul and ego, self and story, being and doing. And it’s not a one-time insight. It’s uninterrupted, steady. A continual practice of remembering who we really are.
Sutra 2.27
Tasya saptadha pranta-bhumih prajna
Discriminative knowledge unfolds in seven stages of insight.
Patanjali doesn’t name the stages - just reminds us that liberation is a process. Gradual. Layered. Not instantaneous.
What I take from these sutras is this:
The cause of suffering is confusing the soul with the material world.
The remedy is the slow, sacred unfolding of clear sight.
And that sight - viveka khyati - takes time.
When we see things from the lens of the ego, we think, “why is this happening TO me?” But when we see things from the lens of the soul, we think, “why is this happening for me?” A line from the AA Big Book has echoed in my heart the last few days: “We will see that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
When I’m in a space of ego I can easily become offended or bothered by other people’s actions and choices. When I’m in a space of soul I can see that God is doing for me what I could not do for myself. He’s helping me see the truth. He’s detaching me from places and people that I need to be detached from. He’s placing me on the path of new people to connect to. He’s rearranged my calendar for 2026 in this very strange way that’s allowing me to be rerouted, rooted and returned to where I belong, which is in Bali.
It’s a really good time to be home.
Tonight, I went to a Kirtan at Sayuri’s. We chanted:
“Let my heart be a haven, let my heart be a home.”
This is my practice right now - to keep coming home: to myself, to Bali, to my heart, to a place of love, to Purusha: the unchanging soul, the piece of Purusha that I am, that all of us are.
Amen.
The next Yoga Sutra Study course with me starts in August. There’s only one more online course like this for the rest of the year. You can be in the circle with us too by signing up here.