#131 My Karma is My Mind
How Meditation Reveals the Scorecard of Our Soul
This morning, I was in my online Yoga Sutra Study class, diving into the final chapter of the text - Chapter 4: Kaivalya Pada.
Man… I’m really going to miss this Thursday morning group. These sutra cohorts run for several months, and by the end, we become this tight little community - showing up for the teachings, and for each other’s lives. This group, that I’ve spent almost a year with, is coming to it’s end soon. I know this is the cycle of life (every action causes us pain!) And yet! - it is still hard to let go.
Every time I lead a group like this, I forget how much it gives me until I’m in it again. It’s such a gift to view my life through the lens of yoga philosophy. It brings me clarity, closure, peace. A reason for life’s experiences.
Today, we studied Sutras 4.1 to 4.8 - an advanced section about karma.
Karma Is Not a Threat
In the West, karma is deeply misunderstood. We hear things like,
“Karma’s gonna get you!”
But that’s not what karma really is.
Karma is more like Newton’s third law:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
It’s not punishment. It’s the natural consequence of movement—mental, emotional, energetic, physical.
This morning, we talked about how the yogi aims to take every action without attachment, without motive. That’s called niskama karma - selfless action. When all action is done without desire for reward, and when the karmic storehouse (karmashaya) is empty, the yogi becomes free.
That freedom is called kaivalya - liberation from the cycle of birth, death, and suffering.
The Karma Scorecard
One of my students asked,
“Is there a way we can know what’s left for us to resolve in this lifetime? Like can we get a Karma Scorecard or something?”
I told her:
“We get our karma scorecard through meditation.”
I’m almost at 250 days of 40 minutes a day meditation - and this year has been gamechanging for me. My meditation practice is like filling up my tank with gas - so when shit hits the fan - when things get difficult and uncomfortable - I’m good. I’m resourced. I can handle it. When we develop a deep meditation practice we’re not only equipping ourselves with such skills - we’re also resolving old samskara, old pain. And when I sit down to meditate, my past arises - not just thoughts, but karmas I didn’t even know I carried.
This year, some memories came up that surprised me. Things I hadn’t thought twice about since high school. I realized I had played a role in causing harm in a friend’s high school experience. Nothing huge, and none of the actions were done out of intent to harm. She’s still a friend. She’s never mentioned it. But when I replayed the events, I knew.
It reminded me of Step 9 in AA:
Make direct amends to such people wherever possible.
I still haven’t made amends to her yet, but I think about it alot these days. It was never something I was conscious of until now - over 15 years later.
I remember when a high school boyfriend once made amends to me as part of his addiction recovery in 2011 or 2021. I almost pitied him. Poor guy, what a mess he made of his life, that he has to make amends to so many people.
But now I understand - all of us have amends to make. It’s not just those who live with addiction. It’s everyone. We all have to clear our karma. And him making amends was about him clearing his karma.
“Our Karma Is Our Mind.” – Ram Dass
I’ve been re-reading Ram Dass’ book Polishing the Mirror this week, and he writes:
“Our karma is our mind.”
What does that mean?
It means that our mind is the container of all our karma.
Karma isn’t just what happens to us - it’s the lens through which we interpret everything. This is shaped by our past actions, thoughts, choices, and impressions. Our triggers, patterns, stories, judgements - all of them are karmic residue. And when I’ve caused someone harm, the karma is in my mind. I just hold onto this anxiety, this regret, this suffering.
Two people can experience the same thing and have completely different reactions. That difference is karma.
Our mind projects the world to us based on our karmic conditioning. And our suffering is not just the event itself - it’s from how your mind interprets, holds, and replays it. That interpretation is karma.
The Path to Liberation
If our karma is our mind, then liberation means:
Becoming aware of our mental patterns (svadhyaya—self-study)
Disidentifying from them (through meditation, mantra, service)
Realizing we are not the karma, but the witness, Purusha, behind it all
We are not the storm. We are the sky it moves through.
Karma Is the Curriculum
Ram Dass used metaphors like:
“The mind is the movie projector. Karma is the film.”
“We’re all waking up to who we are. Karma is the curriculum.”
What’s on your screen right now? What movie are you watching?
The Yoga Sutras and Karma
In Sutras 4.1–4.8, Patanjali breaks down karma in an advanced way, that I really can’t get into in one substack (it’s just too complicated, lol!) But here’s some small tidbits: Karma arises through action, but only action without attachment leads to liberation. We can’t just wish karma away, we complete it by facing it, living it, and letting go. And through deep meditation, we can access and exhaust our karmas without creating new ones. Like planting seeds, watching them grow, and then not planting more. Eventually the field becomes clear.
Coming Back to Myself
As I reflect, I’m reminded again and again that I cannot control anyone else’s actions, reactions or thoughts. I cannot control what anyone else
Only mine.
Every day, I get to choose how I act. How I respond. How I repair.
And when I sit still enough… the scorecard appears.
My karma is my mind.
My next online Yoga Sutra Study starts in August.
If you feel the call to explore this with me, sign up here and join our next satsang.
The advanced group is also starting in August. The advanced group is closed, only open to those who have already completed level one.