#129 Turning Towards the Light

A Summer Solstice Shift in Dharma and Healing

June 21st was the summer solstice - the longest day of the year in terms of daylight, when the sun reaches its peak in the sky. In many ancient traditions, including yogic philosophy, the solstice represents full illumination - both in the sky and within. It’s a moment of clarity, awareness, and awakening. And for me this year, it marked a profound turning point in my life.

For those of you who are new here - welcome! I’m so grateful you’ve landed in my little corner of the internet. To catch you up: 2025 has been one of the most spiritually intense and transformational years of my life.

In January, I came to awareness that I was in active addiction to Instagram. After years of building my sober yoga business on the platform, I had unconsciously shifted my dependence from alcohol to social media. It was a new form of bondage - one that felt deceptively “productive,” but was actually draining my presence and inner peace. The step away from Instagram truly felt like getting sober again, and I learned about myself a lot in the process.

Then in February, I was sexually assaulted.

It was like my soul left my body. Up until that point, I had never fully understood the somatic impact of a major trauma. But when your nervous system is shattered by trauma, the vrittis that Patanjali teaches us to practice the stilling of - become tidal.

I wasn’t present. I was barely inside myself.

And soon after the assault, I had multiple international retreats and events - Abu Dhabi, India, Arizona, Bali - and I entered a relationship that, in hindsight, was more about survival. I now see how my wounded nervous system was seeking safety, stability, and validation - things I didn’t yet know how to give myself.

It was around the time of the solstice that my inner light returned.

It’s hard to even write about what happened, which is one of the reasons I’ve gone silent on Substack. I still care deeply for my former partner. If you’ve followed my Substack over the past four months, you’ve witnessed our love story unfold.

I can usually write freely about anything. But when it comes to this relationship, now, words stick in my throat.

People have asked me what made me vulnerable to it, and I’ve shared this: if the assault hadn’t happened, I know that I would have entered that relationship with more mindfulness. But I didn’t. And that’s not a failure. That’s being human. That’s the tenderness of trauma.

I have so much compassion for the version of me who was just trying to survive.

And there’s beauty in it too. My shamanic healer told me recently that she thought I may never have opened my heart to dating again if it weren’t for him. He helped me start to trust again. That’s sacred. And still, not everything sacred is meant to stay.

Dan, my psychic, suggested that I take a full year to heal. No dating. Just healing. He told me to cook nourishing food, drink bone broth, and start a martial arts practice. To rebuild strength in body, mind, and spirit.

So, around the summer solstice, I did just that.

I began Muay Thai. I started drinking bone broth daily. I drew a sacred boundary around my energy. No dating until June 2026.

And something remarkable is happening:
Each day, I’m feeling stronger. Safer. More whole.
I’m sleeping through the night again. I’m waking up with purpose. I’m reclaiming my power.

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I speak very openly in most environments about what happened to me. I know that speaking about it is how it will move through me. Last night, a new friend of mine told me that they thought I was identifying too much with the stories of my assault and heartbreak. That I needed to “just let it go.”

But I’m not going to stop talking about my sexual assault. Because yoga teaches us not to bypass suffering. It teaches us to be with the samskaras - the mental impressions - until they dissolve through awareness.
As Yoga Sutra 2.1 reminds us:
"Tapas svādhyāya īśvarapraṇidhānāni kriyāyogaḥ"
Practice, self-study, and surrender to the Divine are the path of purification.

I told him: “It happened four months ago. That’s so recent. How could it not still shape me? I’m pretty much still in the emergency room of recovery. And I think it’s healthy that I’m integrating it and that I’m talking about it. I personally think I’m doing a pretty good job at letting it go.”

And I am.

I don’t have flashbacks anymore. I don’t have nightmares anymore. I don’t obsess over it. But I do honour the process of healing.

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My shamanic healer told me she sees my dharma shifting - that part of my purpose may be working with women in recovery from sexual assault. When she said that, I cried. Because I felt the truth of it in my bones.

Stephen Cope writes that our dharma - our sacred purpose - can evolve through different stages of life. I feel that evolution happening now. Two things have become crystal clear:

1. I no longer care about growing a following or impressing anyone. I don’t care about having a large audience. I want to impact people, one-on-one, in deep and meaningful ways.

2. I want to serve women in recovery - whether from addiction, trauma, or heartbreak. That’s where my heart is being called.

And at the same time, it feels as though more and more women around me are waking up. We’re learning that we don’t have to stay in harmful relationships. That our worth is not dependent on how well we tolerate mistreatment. That we have the right to say no. It feels really amazing to witness and be part of that movement.

This year, I gave myself the sacred gift of No. And if I lose followers or business because of it? That’s okay. I would lose more by betraying myself.

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So as I find myself again….here’s what I’m working on now:

Upcoming Projects

Yoga in Bali

My next 200 Hour YTT starts on July 7th. I started teaching drop in yoga at Radiantly Alive in Ubud. Here’s the schedule. And I am still doing private yoga classes at my rooftop yoga shala at my house in Ubud.

Online Membership – July Theme: Kriya Yoga
Kriya Yoga is the yoga of action and inner purification. Our July theme explores the three tools of kriyā yoga: tapas (discipline), svādhyāya (self-study), and īśvarapraṇidhāna (surrender).

• Join us Sundays for meditation circles at 8:30am EST | 8:30pm Bali

• Tuesdays (US) 6:30pm / Wednesdays (Bali) 8:30am for group yoga & meditation led by me

• Saturdays with Sarah for weekly asana classes at 8:30am EST | 8:30pm Bali

Join the membership here!

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Retreats with The Mindful Life Practice

I am currently working on rebuilding the Alcohol Free Retreats Website. Some of the website sign up pages are not yet available, but just note the dates. Here’s the events upcoming:

Mexico (New Year’s Eve): Dec 27 – Jan 3
Abu Dhabi: Feb 13 – 20 (or weekend option Feb 13 – 15 for locals)
India Sober Women’s Retreat: Feb 22 – Mar 5 * 50% SOLD OUT*
Bali Nyepi Retreat: Mar 14 – 21

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Deeper Study Online

Yoga Sutra Study (On Zoom)
A deep dive into the philosophy of yoga—perfect for seekers, teachers, and mental health professionals. Sign up here.

• August–November 2025

• Weekly 90-min live sessions (Weds 7pm EST / Thurs 7am Bali)

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Yoga Teacher Trainings

I’ll be adding more 200-hr and 300-hr YTTs in Bali throughout 2026. Stay tuned if you’re feeling the call to deepen your sādhanā and step into leadership.

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Thank you for being here.
Thank you for witnessing my process.
Thank you for walking this path with me.

Let this solstice be your turning point, too.
Let the light show you what’s ready to be healed.

With love and light,
Alexandra