#111: Why Step 11 is the Heartbeat of Recovery (And why we're teaching it wrong)
From AA Silence to the Yoga Sutras: How a Menu of Meditations Can Make Prayer and Meditation Accessible for Everyone
Today, I went back to AA for the first time in almost a month.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to attend meetings while traveling. But life, family dinners, and time zone logistics in Toronto meant it just didn’t happen. In the evenings, I wanted to be present with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and mom. And like so many things that nourish us, it got unintentionally shelved. Once I arrived in Arizona, it was a go-go-go situation: I barely had time to breathe before Sober in the City was over! So this week was my first opportunity to really get back into a meeting before my retreat next week starts with Rory Kinsella.
So today, back in Ubud, I felt genuinely joyful to sit in an AA circle again - and even more delighted to bring along Celeste, one of our community members visiting from the U.S.
We attended the Step 11: Prayer and Meditation meeting. Funny enough, I’d never been to this particular meeting before - mostly because it’s held right before the ACA “Loving Parent” meeting I usually choose. But here in Ubud, we’re blessed with an abundance of recovery offerings all day, every day.
You might be surprised to know that I rarely speak in meetings - not because I’m shy, but because I’m kind of sick of hearing myself talk (lol). My life is full of speaking: teaching yoga, guiding meditation, podcasting, and facilitating recovery circles. Meetings are one of the few places I allow myself to just listen.
This was my first time reading the full Step 11 passage aloud with others. Afterwards, the man chairing the meeting admitted that he doesn’t really meditate, and that his resistance to God was what kept him away from the 12 Steps for years.
But then he shared something someone once told him:
“You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from believing in God.”
He laughed as he told us he only ended up chairing the Prayer and Meditation meeting because he got mixed up with another member who has the same name.
“So now I’m the chair of this meeting... I guess it’s God’s will.”
That got a chuckle. But it also struck me deeply - the way grace often shows up disguised as coincidence.
Then came the meditation:
“Okay,” he said, “now we’re going to meditate for ten minutes. So if you’re new to this… just buckle up, sit quietly, and breathe.”
That was it.
Ten full minutes of silence. No guidance. No anchor. Just breath and time.
For me, someone who meditates twice a day for twenty minutes, this worked. I had the technique to practice in these ten minutes and they passed quickly for me. But I couldn’t help but think of those in early recovery, maybe even Day 1, sitting in their discomfort, likely wondering what on earth was happening in their own minds.
Because here’s the thing: meditation is Step 11. It’s one of the Twelve Steps of Recovery. And yet… I’ve noticed in the AA groups I’ve been part of, that we don’t actually teach people how to do it.
A 2020 study published in Substance Abuse Treatment, Prevention, and Policy found that incorporating mindfulness meditation significantly reduced relapse rates and increased long-term recovery success. Still, many people in 12-step programs feel intimidated by silence or unsure where to begin.
And this is where Patañjali’s Yoga Sūtras meet the Twelve Steps in a deeply practical, supportive way.
In Yoga Sutras 1.33 to 1.39, Patañjali offers a menu of meditation strategies — not one, but seven unique pathways to still the mind. Why? Because he knew that different people need different practices. Meditation isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Patañjali wasn’t rigid, he was radically inclusive.
“Different minds need different medicines.”
That’s why in Yoga Sutra Recovery, meditation isn’t just something we talk about. It’s something we learn and live.
Yoga Sutra Recovery: Your Meditation Menu
In my 12-week Yoga Sutra Recovery program, we dedicate the first six weeks to practicing different meditation styles - breath, mantra, light, loving-kindness, and more. You’ll be taught in a Zoom call a weekly meditation to explore, learn the philosophy behind it, and be guided gently into stillness.
Then, in the second six weeks, you’ll choose your anchor - the one that works best for your mind right now - and stick with it. This is your sādhana: your daily spiritual practice.
You’ll also receive a weekly mantra for prayer - the kind of devotional sound we chanted together in Arizona, Bali, or on one of our sober retreats.
We have seven spots left in our Yoga Sutra Recovery program which starts online on June 1st. You can book your spot here.
Learn to Meditate with Me in Bali
Want to go deeper in person?
We have a few spaces left on our upcoming Bali teacher trainings, where we’ll explore all these practices together:
July 7–27: 200-Hour YTT — learn vinyasa, meditation, chanting & philosophy. Grab your spot here!
Sept 1–10: 100-Hour Meditation & Prāṇāyāma YTT. Book in here!
Sept 11–18: 50-Hour Asana Adjustments & Assists Training. Join us here!
You’ll also meet Rory Kinsella, who teaches Vedic Meditation, a beautiful method perfect for busy minds.
I believe meditation - like sobriety - is deeply personal, yet universally healing. And whether you're brand new or a seasoned seeker, there’s a place for you at the table.
Let’s stop leaving people alone in silence.
Let’s teach them how to listen.